


Shuichi meets super star makoto, and asks him for the advice

by turtlebish



Series: My weird fanfics (pretty much parody/crack fics) [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Well - Freeform, also kyoko is mad at makoto bc kyoko doesn't find those killing games "cool", and he wants to b popular too, but u know its bad idea when someone u know wants to get popular from killing games, makoto have actually major depression and is so dead inside, mostly makoto and yasuhiro- they r weed buddies, pregame universe, shuichi is fan boi, the weeds man, they take it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-08 15:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15933668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtlebish/pseuds/turtlebish
Summary: the au where all characters from previous killing games, are now bitch ass world wide famous super stars, because here killing games appeared in real life. the v3 didn't happen here tho, so the characters are pretty much like their pregame versions





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> when u want to meet an idol

It was almost beautiful day. The biggest star bitch, makoto naegi, was going to meet his fans, in the hope's peak academy, the school of the stars. There was already quite a lot of students on the outside, isn't there shuichi?

"Who the fUCK SAID THAT!?!??! " shuichi, in casual clothes, and his beloved cap, turned around to see who was talking, but he couldn't see anyone.

However, the voice spoked again "im here bitch lol" it was the author

"Wait and who are you-"

"That doesnt matter" the author said and proceed to punch shuichi in face.

"WHY MEE!?? " He screamed in pain

"Wait isnt it a tradition to beat emo kid- oh shi, nvm then"

And so the author disappeared, and fic turned into its normal format. However shuichi's psycholgical damage will stay.

As he was trying to recover, he heard two girls talking.

 

 **Girl 1:** okay, so when he will show up, ill scream "SIGN UP ON MY BUTT"

And so everyone on the outside looked at her with disgust, but quickly decided this is a good idea and nodded like they were judging an art.

 **Girl 2:** i mean oh fking come on, u know where we r. Ur line is way too normal, plus its nothing original.

 **Girl 1:** um... Ill scream to sign up on my breasts..?

 **Girl 2:** ...

 **Girl 1:** umm... Sign up on my eyeballs...?

 **Girl 2:** well that is indeed not a common idea, but still boring and gross.

Suddenly, shuichi walked to both of them.

 **Shuichi:** i think i know what will be the best thing to scream...

Shuichi said, then leaned down to girl 1 ear.

...

It was a bootyful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming... On days like those... Authors should stop making references to undertale.

After a few hours of waiting, finally, makoto's limousine appeared, and the body guards were everywhere, as well as the people from newspaper. And when the red carpet for was finally prepared, for the true celebrites...

He, Makoto Naegi, opened the door of the limousine, not waiting for bodyguards to do it.

With all the spotlight, Makoto stood, in his gorgerous clothes from newest collection, and on the red carpet started glancing through 10 thousands of his fans screaming. However, one girl managed thru all this meatbags to get to makato as close as she could, and screamed...

"NAEGI KUN SENSEI SAMA SENPAI, CAN YOU SIGN UP ON MY IMPLANTED KIRIGIRI'S HAND!?????"

Makoto spitted out the drink and started coughing, unable to breath.

 **"** GET HER THE HELL OUT OF HERE" the bodyguard stefan yelled, and so the girl 1 was taken away.

After that, and after Makoto Naegi has recovered, the fans all over started to move around to get close to Makoto as much as its possible. That's all Shuichi could say, since he was one of those that got left behind, and now, with such large group of fans going wild, it was impossible to get closer.

...

The hour passed. All this time Shuichi have been trying a lot of different ways, to get at least a look of Makoto, however, all of the plans have failed him, and now, the superstar was leaving. Shuichi himself, always thought he was better than average fan. He thought he have class, diginity, and was way too proud to act like a crazy fan. However, now that Makoto have gotten into the car...

 **SHUICHI:** MR NAEGI, PLEASE SIGN UP ON MY AHOGE!!!

.

.

.

.

 **MAKOTO:** HOLD UP EVERYONE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

 **Makoto's manager:** But Mr. Naegi, we have to...

 **MAKOTO:** SHUT IT. YOU, BOY WITH CAP, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

And as makoto stared and him like he couldn't believe, Shuichi gathered his courage.

 **Shuichi:** Could you... _Sign up on my ahoge...?_

_He said, slowly removing his cap, revealing the majestic ahoge._

**Makoto:** you... Have an ahoge too...

He said, and the tears started appears in his eyes.

 **Makoto:** come in. _*sniff*_

 **MAKOTO'S MANAGER:** UMMM, BUT MR. NAEGI-

 **MAKOTO:** I SAID HE CAN FUCKING COME IN, AND WE'RE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE, OR YOU ALL WILL BE FIRED.

 **Bodyguards:** eEK.

And so, shuichi got into the limousine, and sit close to makoto.

"you're my ahoge buddy" makoto said as he took some weed "ya can ask all ya want."

"GASP, MR. NAEGI THATS AN HONOR"

"Sure sure" hope boy replied while waving his weed, looking for some fire.

"Can i ask you...HOW TO BE POPULAR!?"

And for a moment, makoto stopped searching for fire, and pointed weed at shuichi.

"OHOHO, THATS A GOOD QUESTION MY BOY, I TELL YA. " He said, and finally found some fire, and ignited weed.

"Alrighty, so... " He said again, and started smoking "ok so, first u gotta do... Is to get kidnapped by a crazy bitch pink blondie"

"Bitch pink blondie..." Shuichu noted.

"And then ya boi" He said, sitting more comfortable, and started waving his hand "All ya gotta do... Is to watch yo friends dyiiing"

"Watch my friends dying...?"

"Yu P! " he said as he inhAled weed " watch yo friends dyying, watchin them goo... And then mah boi, all the bitches all yours. And not some fucking kirigiris, da REAL bitches "

He said, nodding to himself.

Shuichi stared at him.

"OH MY GOD MR NAEGI THANK U, THATS SUPER HELPFUL!!"

"Ay ay mah boi, take fking care."

And so, shuichi happily left the limousine, and went to home, thinking about all the scenarious how to start a killing game. And so, the next day...

 **SHUICHI, TO CLASS:** HEY LETS KILL EACH OTHER

 **class:** _*spits out the tea*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny thing, makoto and kirigiri had an argument, because while kirigiri was disguisted by the killing game she participated in, while makoto was like "eeeeeeeeee yolo lol". Kirigiri got a business woman life style, while makoto decided to be a star, and become weed man.


	2. Chapter 2

Yesterday, shuichi have met his idol Makoto, who was smoking weed, and telling him the biggest the most important advice in his life: TO BE POPULAR, ALL U HAVE TO DO IS WATCH YO FRIENDS DYING.

Shuichi, excited from meeting his idol, was very motivated about that idea, and so the next day, while the teacher was gone, he stood up on desk and screamed...

SHUICHI: LETS HAVE KILLING GAME GUYS

Class: *spits out the tea*

Kaede: excuse me-

SHUICHI: KILLING GAAAAME, GUYYYYYYYYYYSSSS

Kaito: what no-

SHUICHI: WHAT YES. ALSO U OR KAEDE GOTTA KIDNAP US, BC THE RULES SAYS U GOTTA B KIDNAPPED BY BITCH PINK BLONDIE. we only have only blondie, and only pink guy so

...

Shuichi: uhh guess u gotta kidnap us...

...

SHUICHI: GUYS COME ON, ITS SUPER COOL DDDDDD:

Ryoma: no

SHUICHI: WHAT

tenko: shuichi chill yo emo butt yo, u damn nerd

Kaito: ya, no killing game here lol. ALSO GET YO ASS OFF THAT DESK.

SHUICHI: BUT KAITOOOOO, WE COULD BE POPULAR!!

KAito: wAIT POPULAR U SAY-

maki: *stares*

Kaito: im sorry succi u know she'll kill me if i do something dumb

SHUICHI: B-B-but if so, s-she can kill you in killing game...

Kaede: no, now get ur ass off that desk

Shuichi: b-but- kokichi?? Some oumasai content, maybe?? D:

Kokichi: *too scared to say anything*

SHUICHI: COME ON GUYS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH UUUU DDDDDD: DANGANRONPA Y'ALL. miu??

miu: no. i ain't in that shit. the shit im into is to find a way how to kidnap kokichi to rape him with dildo

kokichi: *sqeaks and hides under the dask*

kaede: don't bully my bab

shuichi: if u would help me out kokch, I would help u

kokichi: *hides under the sheets*

tenko: wait where did he get those.

shuichi: s..so... n..no..killing...game...?

...

SHUICHI: *ON VERGE OF CRYING* F-FINE, ILL DO IT ALONE

kaito: shuichi-

SHUICHI: S-SO, SO FIRST OF- *SOBS* I GOTTA, GOTTA LOCK THE DOOR

Kaede: umm

And suprisingly no one stopped him when he was locking the door

Kaede: srsly guys

Kaito: look he's so pitiful, let's just let him.

SHUCHI: AND THEN- *SNIFFS* II-I GOTTA LOCK W-W-W-W-WINDOWS-

Kaede: guys srsly stop him

Tenko: tbh i would feel so bad if were to stop him rn

himiko: same, i would feel like raping a puppy

tenko: wait how do u know how does it feels like -

Shuichi, desperately, tries to do something with windows, sobbing loudly.

kiibo: guys just do something it's so sad looking at him 

Kork: sweet jesus same. i didn't remember when i felt so pitiful towards something else than that puppy my sister was raping.

ryoma: what-

kork: i meant petting.

ryoma: this is why no one likes you.

kork: says the most awkward person in class. but anyway, how about we will just pretend to be killed??

Shuichi: b-b-b-b-b-b-but.............

Kaede: oh shi- that's right, we can do fake killing game. We just pretend to b dead and then take pics and post it [#lolkillinggame](https://aminoapps.com/c/danganronpa/tag/lolkillinggame/)

Shuichi: .-----.

And so, everyone proceeded to pretend to b corpses with fake blood on them, while shuichi was taking selfies with them in the bg [#LolTheOnlySurvivorOfThisShit](https://aminoapps.com/c/danganronpa/tag/LolTheOnlySurvivorOfThisShit/).

TEACHER: *COMES IN* JFC NANI THE FUCK-

CLASS: OMG-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm


End file.
